That’s a beautiful smile, but it’d look even better if it were all you were wearing.Do you need a stud in your life? Cause I’ve got an STD and all I need is U.First we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you. Do you like to draw? Because I put the D in Raw.Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.Wanna know the difference between a unicorn horn and an erection ? I don’t have a unicorn horn right now.Are you eco-conscious kind of person? The condom in my pocket goes out of date tomorrow, so why don’t you help me use it?.Hey girl, I’m a not a meteorologist, but something’s telling me you’re in for a few inches tonight.So hold on to your monocles, because things are gonna get dirty: Rather, this list can serve as an archive so they may be saved for posterity. So by sharing a list of my favorite, dirtiest pick-up lines here, I am by no means saying you should try using these on someone who catches your eye – you’ll be much more likely to get a drink in your face than a partner in your bed. ![]() The joke is not just in the clever and raunchy turn of phrase, but also is due to the idea you’d say these things for the purpose of getting laid, a ‘can you imagine saying this to someone?’ layer added to it. The comedic value of the pickup line – especially the dirty ones – lies in the very notion that it is designed for the purpose of sexual conquest. I don’t think they were ever truly intended to result in sex for the person who delivers the line. I’ve got a little theory about them, if you’ll indulge this author for a moment. The most likely answer to both of those questions is ‘probably not’, which makes us wonder what is even the point of the pick-up line? Why do they exist? If you haven’t used one, let alone had one result in sex, why do we have them in the first place? “That high blood sugar may be temporary, but baby, our love is forever.Dirty pick up lines – you know, clever phrases that are meant to make a prospective partner drape their arms over the back of your neck and yell ‘TAKE ME NOW!’ into the night air? Surely you know one or two just off the top of your head, but have you ever actually used one? Not only that, but have you ever used a pickup line… and it worked? “You give me your heart, and I’ll give you my pancreas. “Hey, I lost my (glucose) number, can I have yours?” “Just like your fingers, my heart bleeds when we are apart.” ![]() The only thing I want to count are the minutes until I see you again.” “Hey girl, that blood sugar number is almost as pretty as you are.” “How about we go back to my place, I know a way to make your blood sugar drop.” “You must be diabetic, you are just too sweet.” “You’re like my insulin, I can’t live without you.” “Hey girl, my blood sugar isn’t the only thing on the rise right now.” “You’re a lot like my insulin syringes, super fine!” “My low blood sugar isn’t the only thing that’s making me sweat, you are HOT!” “Did it hurt?” “What, my shot?” “No, when you fell from heaven.” “Do you mind if I sit next to you? I just want to feel close to a working pancreas.” “Without you sweet thang, I’ll have a reaction!” “Baby, I’d never destroy your heart, the way your body destroyed your beta cells.” “ I don’t need to check your blood sugar to know you’re a 10.” “What do you say you and I get tangled in my pump tubing tonight?” “Strip for me? Test strip that is, I’m all out.” ![]() “Is your blood sugar low? “ No, why?” “Cause you’ve been running through my mind all night.” “I wish I was your insulin pump so that I could be next to you all day.” “ Is that a tube of glucose tabs in your pocket, or are you just really happy to see me?” “Oh baby, your name should be Sugar because with you I’m always high!” “How about a kiss? I’m the only sugar you’ll need” “Baby, I just followed my CGM arrows and they pointed me straight to you.” “I’m sorry I didn’t get you a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day, but if you want something sweet I’m right here.” “ With you around Sweetie, who needs glucose tabs?” If you have any more to contribute, please leave them in the comments, I’d love to hear them! This Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be fun to post some diabetes pick-up lines! They’re pretty clean…well most of them at least.
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